After 10 years of being embroiled in the so called Family Justice System going in pursuit of Justice WORLDWIDE; then reporting on my findings via 3 blogs I would have hoed they would have answered any questions people may have on what they should and shouldn’t do following separation or divorce. But NO; still people try to contact me and ask what should they do so I will try and compact 10 years of first hand experience and research into a nut shell here!
1. Family Lawyers are also called fee earners and that is ALL they are interested in, they hide behind the claim that they act in ‘your child’s best interest’ but why should they seek to resolve your case when it is in their best interest to let it run for months maybe years and whilst you are in tears at the loss of contact/visitation with you own biological kids they are laughing all the way to the bank!
2. Family Court Judges here too claim to have ‘your child’s best interest at heart’ but do you think they really care about your case locked away in a dusty file or downloaded on an irretrievable computer disk when they are on the Golf course and you have to deal with an erroneous ex partner who suddenly decided you won’t be seeing your son or daughter this weekend in spite of court orders to the contrary?
3. Social Services aka Court reporters and by many other names around the world, also have a vested interest and will act as the court scapegoat and will not refrain from doing what the court expects, rather then the right thing! Why should they, everything they do is behind secret & closed courtrooms where no accountability is required for their sex discrimination, contravening human rights and doing anything but in ‘the true best interest for the children’ involved? Consider this ; all the time I was spending vast amounts of money trying to remain in contact with my own children the very same council were spending millions in promoting the need for Foster Parents/carers ( As you may have guessed) once again there is a financial incentive for Councils to do this and when I questioned the Council about this I was generally ignored or passed around the building ( It later transpired that the head of legal services at Hertfordshire County Council in 2004 was viewing Child Porn images on his office computer!)
So My Advice? Well if you are unable to resolve matters amicably with an ex be assured no court will do it . You are better off keeping your cash for the children’s future then waste it on lining some legal professionals pocket! It is also true the non resident or so called absent parent (More often Dad ) is penalised the most in this environment but generally it is the better parent, mum or dad, who will come off worse but ultimately it is the children who will lose out as Parental Alienation and False allegation tend to result in the abuse of young minds and loss of a happy childhood!
suggest an organisation like ACAS deals with it as they would in Employer/Trade Union disputes . Each parent to be allowed sufficient legal aid to bring a definitive resolution to the table based on shared care of their child and the findings to be binding on both parents!
Should either parent want to change things later they have to apply to court at their own expense so it matters to agree contact and financial matters in the first instance to avoid unnecessary cost of an inflexible law most seem resistant to change!