Any guy who gives flowers on Feb. 14 is a blooming idiot.
So says Marc Rudov, a relationship expert in Los Gatos, Calif., who is on a campaign to get American men to boycott Valentine’s Day.
According to Rudov, who has authored books such as “Under the Clitoral Hood: How to Crank Her Engine Without Cash, Booze or Jumper Cables,” believes Valentine’s Day should be canceled permanently because it promotes unequality of the sexes.
Marc H. Rudov
Marc Rudov believes that true equality between the sexes will never happen as long as women force men to spend lots of money on them each Valentine’s Day.
“There’s nothing romantic about coercing men to oblige female entitlement,” Rudov said. “Valentine’s Day artificially and unilaterally caters to women. It’s the media’s annual male-bashing fest.”
Rudov believes the holiday is better named “Nomance Day” and says he expects all “real men” to boycott it.
This is the fifth year that Rudov has declared his boycott, and he admits it’s been an uphill battle.
“Have I made a dent?” Rudov rhetorically asked AOL News. “Absolutely not! That’s because men are wimps and they do what their women want. Guys [celebrate Valentine’s Day] because they’re afraid they’ll get rejected in the bedroom.”
Rudov admits he too once fell for the “sextortion,” but changed for the better about 10 years ago.
“I asked myself, ‘Why am I doing this? It’s stupid,’ ” he said. “And it is, but you know what? Most people follow the herd.”
Part of Rudov’s complaint is that V-day is an example of “expected generosity,” a term he points out “is both oxymoronic and moronic.”
“Valentine’s Day is a romantic implant,” he griped. “It’s fake.”
It also violates Rudov’s sense of fairness.
Courtesy DeAnna Lorraine
Matchmaker DeAnna Lorraine predicts the proposed Valentine’s Day boycott will fail because women won’t stand for it.
“In the upcoming Super Bowl, there won’t be one commercial urging women to buy gifts for men. In fact, Faith Hill will appear in an emasculating Teleflora spot to condescendingly help a hapless sound technician shop for his girlfriend,” he said.
“Any man who buckles to society’s pressure to buy her overpriced flowers or jewelry or meals on Feb. 14 is a eunuch desperate for sex, and he needs to grow a pair.
“A guy is pressured to shell out dough on Valentine’s Day because he doesn’t want to be singled out as a cheap bastard, but is a woman cheap if she doesn’t buy gifts?”
Rudov claims he once did an experiment designed to prove his point: He went into a Hallmark card store asking for the section for “apology cards for women to give to men.”
“The women there practically laughed me out of the store,” he said. “They said, ‘Women don’t apologize to men.’ Then I went to a florist and asked how many women bought flowers for men. The florist told me, ‘Women don’t buy flowers for men.’ ”
But Rudov is quick to point out that celebrating Valentine’s Day is just a bad deal all the way around.
“Even if women are told they also have to buy stuff on that day, it’s still a fake holiday,” he said.
For the record, Rudov may prefer to be heartless on Valentine’s Day, but he isn’t completely heartless himself.
“If a man wants to give a woman flowers, he should, but it shouldn’t be mandated on a specific day,” he said, adding that he does have a girlfriend despite his unorthodox beliefs.
“One of the reasons she likes me is that I have a pair and can stand up to her — and to society’s nonsense,” he said.
The key, he says, is to be up front about your anti-V-day beliefs right from the git-go.
As you might expect, Rudov’s boycott isn’t exactly getting support from fellow relationship experts like San Diego matchmaker DeAnna Lorraine.
“No woman is going to put up with this boycott,” Lorraine said. “It’s more about love and the expression of love. And it’s not just about the woman. It’s one-sided to think that it’s just about the men.”
Still, she agrees that a guy should be able to buy cards and flowers for his lady any time he wants, but suggests he do it between now and Valentine’s Day because it will make it easier for her to explain to her friends why he doesn’t buy those things on Feb. 14.
Rudov realizes that his boycott may not make a financial dent in the coffers of card companies and candy-makers, but that’s OK, since he measures success in a different way.
“I will consider it a success if it convinces a guy to say, ‘I did it! I finally grew up and grew a pair and I found a woman who agrees with me!’ ”